Season 3 Episode 9: Practical Solutions for Jealousy and FOMO

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June 5th, 2021

31 mins 12 secs

Season 3

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About this Episode

Jealousy is presented as the mind-killer in polyamory a lot of the time, but it's a presentation of all kinds of other emotions and dealing in a practical way with some of those underlying causes is going to be the best way to get through or past it. While everyone's individual expressions of jealousy will be unique and include their own personal blend of different issues that need to be explored, there are a few strategies that are broadly applicable or transferrable.

We look at those in today's episode - strategies for communication before and after activities that are giving you a bit of a jealous or envious wobble; techniques for self awareness or distraction and focus elsewhere during events that are bothering you; reframing techniques for thoughts about missing events to allow partners to attend them; how to build a toolbox of skills you can turn to so the jealous or envious 'freakout' is shorter and the pivot to self care is more instinctual.

I've always been a big fan of the Jealousy Workbook, but there's lots of guided meditations and journals that people find helpful for this kind of work. (That's an affiliate link, just fyi.)

Some related blog posts are:
On envy and FOMO: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/envy-is-real
On your partners being there when things are difficult: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/your-partners-can-handle-emotions-when-they-re-hard
On Jealousy: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/but-don-t-you-get-jealous
On jealousy again: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/the-green-eyed-monster-in-my-life-spoilers-it-s-me

Next week we're doing a live episode on June 11 (friday) in the evening Eastern Time for the podcastiversary and I'll be releasing it on the regular places during the weekend. If you have questions you want answered in that show, send them to [email protected]!

As always, our music is provided by the talented Vince Conaway who you can find at www.vinceconaway.com; the blog is at www.readyforpolyamory.com, the Patreon at patreon.com/readyforpolyamory; the ko-fi at www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory; you can join us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory, I'm on twitter @lauracb88 and instagram @readyforpolyamory.