The Ready For Polyamory Podcast

Season 6 Episode 8: Abuse in Polyamory Part 2

March 23rd, 2023

"The definition I prefer to use is that abuse is a pattern of behavior with the design, intent, or consequence of making someone unable to leave a situation."

"We need to expand our conceptions of abuse because so many support systems are using methods of understanding that are heteronormative and based entirely on married people, much less mononormative."

CW: this episode speaks about patterns of behavior and harm that can comprise abusive relationships, and while it strives not to be explicit, it may be triggering for some survivors of abuse. Use your discretion for if or the timing of when you listen.

Laura speaks with Claire Travers of Poly Pages regarding abuse in polyamory, resources for folks who believe they may be in abusive relationships, and the most well known examples of abuse in polyam relationships.

Claire Travers runs events, a podcast, webcasts, and research hubs for Poly Pages, an academic-focused resource on polyamory, which you can find at You can also find her on instagram and tiktok @polypages.

Poly Pages is partnered with The Network La Red in the USA and Refuge in the UK to expand definitions and understandings of abuse outside of hetero-mononormative views. You can find The Network La Red at and they have a Zoom event "Coffee with The Network La Red" this sunday about the nuance in "the myth of mutual abuse" and some of the "flying monkey" and "DARVO" issues Claire and I discuss in this episode as well as the "no perfect victim" issues Alicia and I discussed in the previous one on March 26 at 10 am. You can find the registration link and more at their linktree here: Refuge for those in the UK can be found here: